• 12 Aug 2010 /  paolo, topotravel

    Pnut and I get on the plane to Venice tomorrow.  Besides throwing a bunch of stuff into a backpack, here’s the extent of my preparations:

    me: Oi ciao recion come ti sta?? Zio beco che merda!!6:37 PM Paolo: 8-O me: :) Paolo: where did you see those??? me: http://nonciclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Truzzo_veneziano :) 6:38 PM Chetasboro to nona zogava! :) Paolo: nonono wait a second this is campagnolo not real veneziano6:39 PM sorry…me: :( what’s zio beco? Paolo: :D 6:40 PM God cuckold makes no sense in english me: AWESOME! Paolo: but it’s a good one in veneziano not to be said on the streets though me: Oh, I am SO GOING TO USE IT! Paolo: you are going to get arrested.6:41 PM me: pah. I’ll just say you told me it meant “good morning”6:42 PM me: GESBORRO! Paolo: too many RRRs me: GESBORO, ZIO BECO! Paolo: :D 6:43 PM me: … maybe you should bring some bail money… just in case… Paolo: I leave you there, wtf me: Fine by me. It’s probably nicer than Jersey…6:44 PM Paolo: better than a Jersey jail…that’s for sure.6:45 PM me: …and without all the fist-pumping… Paolo: just fist fucking. big fists the venetians, you know!6:46 PM me: Oh. my. god. Go back to work.

    UPDATE: Pnut made me come back and change all the D’s in this post to Z’s.  Apparently, it really is a big deal.  Sheesh.  Why make up a swear word if you can’t ever use it?  Bloody Italians.

  • 06 Jul 2010 /  paolo, topotravel

    Five intensive weeks of Anatomy & Physiology are finally over!  Huzzah, I pulled an A!

    To celebrate, Pnut and I headed to Findlay, Ohio (what, not your idea of a party town? pshaw.) to meet up with my dad’s side of the family.  Eight hours each way in the car, as usual, resulted in some very bizarre conversation.  Here are my favorites…

    (On the way to Ohio)

    topo: (singing) On top of spaghetti, all covered in cheese… I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed…  It rolled off the table and onto the floor, and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door…

    pnut: Stop it topo!  Oh, please stop singing!  It makes me so sad!

    topo: Uh, it’s not a sad song.

    pnut: Yes it is, it’s a horrid and terrible sad song!  The saddest song ever!

    topo: Uh, it’s about spaghetti and meatballs.

    pnut: I know, but the poor kid doesn’t get to eat his meatball.

    topo: Riiiiggghht.  That would make you sad, wouldn’t it?

    (On the way back from Ohio)

    topo: (singing) … spagheeeeeeeeettttiiiii….

    Pnut: nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

    topo: (singing quietly) …cheeeeeese…..

    Pnut: Poor, poor little meatball!

    topo: Babe, I think maybe the guy gets to eat the meatball at the end.  Just because it fell on the floor doesn’t mean he didn’t eat it… maybe he picks it up off the floor and just pops it in his mouth.

    Pnut: I hope so!  That’s what I would do!

    topo: I know.

    And then I felt really bad for making my husband so sad, so I looked up the end of the song online.  And it made Pnut’s entire day that indeed, the kid gets to eat his tasty if slightly mushy meatball… PLUS he gets a meatball tree in his back yard.

    Anyone want to take a roadtrip with us?  Lyrics to the song can be found here.

  • 29 Apr 2010 /  classic topo, paolo, topotravel

    Our trip to Mexico was a load of fun.  It can be summed up with two basic conversations that Pnut and I had in variations over the course of five days.

    Conversation n°1: The Travel Snobs

    topo: Gawr, more drunk obnoxious Americans.  How hard is it to treat people with respect in their own country?  I am so ashamed.

    Pnut: I think the crazy one is actually Canadian.

    topo: Canadians are just Americans without guns.

    Pnut: You have to admit, they’re more fun than British on holiday.

    topo: Americans are just loud Brits without tea.  We are never doing an all-inclusive again.

    Pnut: Have you seen my flippy-floppies, muthafucka?*

    [*note: this is the consequence of introducing an Italian to Lonely Island]

    Conversation n°2: Pacific Topo

    topo: (underwater screaming, sounds of swallowing water, thrashing noises to the surface) OH MY GOD!  OH MY GOD!  Did you SEE THAT FISH?  It was right by my face!  RIGHT BY MY FACE!

    Pnut: topo, settle down.  It’s not interested in you.

    topo: But it could TOTALLY have BITTEN ME!

    Pnut: It doesn’t have teeth.

    topo: Well, I don’t want it rubbing its fishy gums all over me either.  And I swallowed half the Pacific!

    Pnut: Put your mask back on, I’ll hold your hand.

    topo: Like that’s going to keep the sharks away.

    –(five minutes later)–

    topo: (muffled by snorkel mask) BARRACUDAAAAA!!!!  BARRACUDAAAAA!!

    Pnut: Nobody can hear you screaming underwater, you know.

    topo: (mask removed) AND I GOT STUNG BY A JELLYFISH!  Oh my god!  It hurts! It hurts!  OW!  I just got stung by another!  OW!  AND ANOTHER!  OW!…

    Pnut: Are you SURE you were a swimmer?

    topo: WE PRACTICED IN A POOL!

    Yup, that was us in Mexico.  Pnut did convince me to try scuba in the end, and I loved it.

    Scuba in Cozumel

  • 10 Feb 2010 /  baby, paolo, topotravel

    Several inches of snow are on the ground already this morning, with more falling every second.  Our streets have yet to be plowed.  So, Pnut is at home with me today.  We are circling the wagons around our little wood-burning stove.  Just the two of us.  I am glad.  I need him near me now.

    Of course it’s not all awful.  There has been wonderful stuff, funny stuff, too. That’s the stuff I’m keeping close to my heart.

    Pnut’s secret plan during the pregnancy was to schedule our holiday to Venice during our due-date week.  So that his lovely wife could give birth in flight.  Why?  Apparently, if you give birth in the air, the airline provides free flights to the family for the rest of their lives.  At least, that’s his theory.  When I asked him how he could expect his wife to give birth without Doctor supervision (in topoland that translates to: without a buttload -literally- of damn good drugs) he said “Come on, you’ve seen the movies, they go on the intercom and say “is there a doctor on board?” and then some dude in a Hawaiian shirt comes to help”.  Thank you, love.

    Pnut is a commercial airline freak.  He’s on a bunch of commercial air forums online.  Wherein they discuss all the (I’m sure) fascinating topics surrounding… commercial airlines.  I just asked him what those topics are, in case you’re wondering they are “technical about airlines” and “how the plane works”.

    In Brussels, at least once a month Pnut would trek off to the airport at some ungodly Sunday morning hour to (wait for it, it’s just so exciting!) sit in the parking lot and take pictures of planes landing and taking off.  I might understand this hobby if it involved exotic planes.  Maybe even fighter jets.  But he gets excited over “American Airlines” and “United” and snaps pictures of their planes.  My brother and his wife gave us a digital picture frame as a wedding present.  Guess what it now contains?  Four hundred pictures of airplane outlines, all of which look like the exact same plane and picture to me.

    (all pictures by Pnut, who would like you to know that the wings and stuff aren’t cut off in the originals - that’s just my bad html skills at work)

    But truly?  I will change my mind about this entire “hobby” if indeed I never have to pay for another ticket.  Can somebody please tell me - is it actually true?  Can you PROVE it to me?  DO you fly free forever if you give birth in flight?  Because if it is true, to be honest, between our annual trips to Italy, biannual trips to India, and climbing adventures… that could save us millions.

    HEY YOU… IN THE HAWAIIAN SHIRT… ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

  • 19 Aug 2009 /  paolo, topotravel

    So the first three days of the trip I was in New Jersey with Pnut, looking at houses.  This was a whole bunch of fun, primarily because we stumbled upon the most kick-ass real estate agent, ever!  I highly, highly recommend Jo Ann Hesse if you are looking for a home or rental property in Jersey.  Not only is she incredibly committed, smart and frank, but she’s absolutely hilarious and knows how to enjoy life!  We found about a million great homes, and fell in love with Dover, which is apparently called “Dover Rico” by the locals and has a reputation for being unsafe.  As far as I could tell, though, this is solely because white people don’t like to be surrounded by hispanics because… you know… Spanish is SCARY.  I walked up and down the street where we fell in love with “our” house (fingers crossed) and spoke to a bunch of neighbors.  They were all incredibly friendly and thrilled to have Spanish-speakers potentially moving in, because the previous occupants of the house “only said hello, goodbye, but in this neighborhood we all know each other and look after each other”.  There were plenty of folks out on the streets with their small kids, wash hanging from the lines in the back yards, music playing, and… yep, I did not meet a single person who did not speak Spanish.  I couldn’t have MADE UP a neighborhood where I felt more at home.

    After house-hunting, I headed to Chicago for the memorial service of a family member.  Like most Indians, my family ties are far-reaching and incredibly tight.  It’s hard to describe to Americans how I am related to some people, because technically I am not.  But culturally and emotionally, I am.  So, I spent four days with my fairy godmother, shopping for decorations and watching her bake for the memorial service for her mother, Claire Rose.  Claire was like a grandmother to me, though I could never apply that word to the incredible, fearless bad-ass who once made out with Jack Kerouak and drove cross-country in her seventies to start a whole new career.  It was her blessing, as my eldest family member in Chicago, that I sought before my wedding in June.  Her absence in the world will continue to be felt acutely by anyone who ever entered her non-stop energetic orbit.  Even from her hospital bed, she would rather talk about YOUR life and how YOU were than anything else.

    I also had the opportunity to visit the cardiology ward at the University of Chicago hospital and shadow the nurses in the ICU there for a day.  Let me tell you, I would have just stayed in there listening and learning if I could have.  There is no doubt in my mind now that I absolutely belong in a hospital environment.  After living in the gilded corporate towers for so long where the chant is “money money money” it was incredible to be in an environment where the chant is “people people people”.  Sure, I saw egos and drama there.  But guess what - it’s worth it to me put up with that shit if I’m busy saving lives; it is not worth it to me to put up with it when I’m busy making money for shareholders.  Oh - and the best part?  I got to see a guy whose face was eaten up by herpes.  And I did not freak out; I was just disappointed they wouldn’t let me get close enough to see better.  Pnut finds this hilarious, because when he called me later in the week I was crying over the dog with the broken leg on some Animal Planet show.  Damn that Animal Planet for making me cry over every fucking show, but rendering me unable to change the channel.  I’m glad we don’t have a tv here!  Seriously, when I see injured people I just want to roll up my sleeves and get busy fixing it but when I see an injured animal I throw my hands in the air and cry hysterically.

    The last week of the trip I went down to Nashville an spent a week with my folks.  Alarmingly, my mother and I made it through almost the whole week without a major blow-out fight.  We did manage to get at each other’s throats on my last night there, but considering it took us longer than 24 hours together, I’ll mark this up to progress made.  I also spent a day building walls for Habitat for Humanity with her.  This was my second Habitat build, and it was as rewarding as I remember.  If you’re looking for a tangible way to contribute to your community, you may want to check into Habitat.  Despite all the Christian hooboo jooboo surrounding the organization (I LOATHE that crap - I’d rather spend those extra ten minutes building shit than feeling uncomfortable while everyone around me prays), it’s a good time and you’ll learn some great skills - especially if you’re doing any work on your own home.

    Okay, well, them’s the news, folks.  It’s Wednesday morning and I’ve written all of this from a bar up the street from Pnut’s office.  God, I love being laid off!

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  • 30 Jul 2009 /  climbing, friends, paolo, topotravel

    The Pnut and I are, technically, already married.  That is, we have a certificate saying we are married, and we spent some time in front of a judge and four family members last June.  But this October 3, when all of our close friends and family meet up in Val di Mello, is the day that we look forward to.  We know that marriage isn’t easy.  We know that life isn’t easy.  And we are looking forward to the love and support of all of our friends and family on the day that they witness us commit our lives to each other, and during the years to come.  And we look forward to doing this in a place that is holy to us.

    Pnut and I have shared some of the most wonderful moments of our time together in Val di Mello.  

    That includes the epic when we were caught in the dark on the descent from Luna Nascentesleeping in a cave on our ropes for warmth and sporking with Heikino. 

    Last year, Amy and Filippo celebrated their wedding there.  We have spent so many evenings (and mornings, and rainy days) with our friends at the campsite bar that the owners are like family (which means that -yes- that is where dinner (sans donkey sauce) shall be gobbled down and -yes- there shall be Italian karaoke… again).

    Basically, Val di Mello is the most beautiful, most glorious valley imaginable.  The kind of place that brings you to your knees in awe of its inspirational beauty, its kind residents, its sparkling waterfalls, granite peaks and science-friction climbing and bouldering. 

    Even if you’re not coming to our ceremony in October, if you’re ever in Italy this is a valley well worth a visit, any time of year.  Be sure to stop by the campsite for an amazing home-cooked meal… and karaoke.

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  • 23 Jul 2009 /  The Corporation, paolo, topotravel

    So it’s been made officially official that I’m laid off.  I won’t get into the details of how I took it up the ass from The Corporation, but let me make something clear: our HR department is full of a bunch of back-stabbing hypocrites.  I couldn’t be more pleased to be leaving that place as it falls apart at the seams.  Everybody left who cares about quality and people are drowning with their fingers in the dam.  And that’s from somebody HAPPY to be laid off (reasons coming up!).

    Before I tell you WHY I’m so happy to be laid off, let me just add one more little piece of corporate irony.  One of the other departments is looking for a new CSR.  All the other managers are on holiday.  Guess who HR asked to interview the incomers?  Yep, that’s right - yours truly.  Smart move guys, fire somebody and then ask them to interview incoming candidates.  If I were anybody but me, I might do some serious damage.  Idiots!

    So now the GOOD NEWS!  P has accepted a transfer within his company and we will be moving to New Jersey this November.  Just outside of New York.  A house in the country, hopefully.  Plenty of fly-fishing, climbing, room for the doggies to run around, and (well, for me anyway) skeet shooting (P is NOT pleased that we will have firearms in the house)!  Me?  Yioupieeeee!!!

    Now anybody who knows me is wondering why the HELL I would want to move back to US.  Good question.  You see, I’m going back to school!  Something that is next to impossible to do in Europe.  I will hopefully start this coming spring on pre-medical pre-requisites, and then start applying to nursing schools!  That’s right bitches, better get your ER visits out of the way in the next couple of years unless you want me to be the one putting that needle in your butt.  Needless to say, I am SO HAPPY to be going back to school.  Especially into medicine.  Why not go for an MD you ask?  Because I want to actually spend time with patients.  It’s not the diagnostics that get my blood flowing, but the laying on of hands - both physically and emotionally.  I am interested in being the smart person who can translate doctor-speak for patients, advocate for patients and doctors as necessary, and hold hands all around.  Communication is the one thing I do well.  Plus, my languages will come in handy I’m sure.  I already know I’m a good teacher.  If I add nursing to that there won’t be a single international experience I cannot have.

    So far, I’m pretty sure it’s trauma nursing that I want to do.  And just to let you know I am not totally glittery-eyed about what it will be like- I’ve been reading every ER, trauma nurse, trauma doc blog on the web.  As well as quite a few others.  So far, this one thoughtsfromthenightshift is my favorite for taking you into that world/atmosphere - I think it gives a real feeling about what it’s actually like to be a nurse day in, day out, for years.  It covers administration politics, boredom, adrenaline, good doctors vs. bad doctors, peer politics and disputes, patient madness, a few moments of divine clarity, and the usual share of plain old hilarity/nastiness that is caring for the human race.  If any nurses or non-nurses out there can suggest other nursing/medical blogs I should be reading, or any other advice please don’t hesitate to comment or email me; I need all the advice I can get right now!

    Coming soon, my experiences as an “alternative” (over thirty, old-ass) student trying to get into school.  So far, just talking to the admissions folks has been a trip.  I guess that’s what happens when you deal with 18-year-olds’ whingey phone calls all day?

    In the meantime, wish me luck!  Who knows, maybe someday topotales will be a traumatic… I mean trauma-nursing blog, too.

    OH- HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM P & I TIFFANY!!!!  WE LOVE YOU!!!!

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  • To be honest, I was going to write about something positive today.  You know, happy thoughts.  But I’ve got this Situation going at The Corporation, you see, and it’s making it extremely difficult for me to concentrate on anything.  The Situation is that I have been laid off… only I haven’t.  I mean, they told me I will be laid off, and there have been internal announcements of such lay-off.  But I haven’t actually been laid off yet, so I’m not really sure if I’m laid off or not.  Or when I will be laid off.  Or if this is all just a figment of my imagination. 

    On a related but totally different topic, when P and I came back from our paper-signing and first wedding frenzy in Chicago last month, I was soooo jetlagged and tired on Monday morning that I sent the following SMS to my team and boss:

    “Hi folks, staying home today with a touch of the flu.  Don’t worry, haven’t been kissing any pigs.  See you all tomorrow.”

    And then all hell broke loose.

    My boss called to tell me that I could not come back to work without a certificate of health from my doctor that stated specifically that I do not have the swine flu.  I kid you not.  So I called my doctor.  No appointments were available until Tuesday.  So I called my boss, and she gave me Tuesday off.  Ok, whatever, one free day off for me.  My doctor and I had a really hearty laugh on Tuesday, and she didn’t charge me for the paperwork, she just told me that it was highly illegal to have been asked for it. 

    And when I came back to work on Wednesday (yes, I know - I REALLY should have made that doctor’s appt for the following week!!), I found that as usual The Corporation is not without irony, for the instigator of this great illegal swine fiasco was none other than our corporate lawyer.

    I present you here with snippets (she IS still a lawyer, so I need to be a TAD cautious, lest I do anything illegal here) of her hysterical mail. 

    I’ve been told…came back from the US with flu symptoms and despite this was planning to come to work tomorrow…going to inform HR immediately so that…could only return…upon submission of a medical certificate…

    we count on you so that the appropriate safety measures are taken in respect of …so that she would not put whole [The Corporation] staff at risk. Also… send out the communication to everyone coming from the US and regions with the most spread Mexican flu virus so that in case of such people have minor symptoms of flu, they should immediately consult the medical centres and not negligently put other colleagues at risk.

    CALL THE POLICE, CIA, THE FBI, INTERPOL, QUICK!  BEFORE I BREATHE ON YOU!  NEGLIGENTLY!  I guess that’ll teach me to say “flu” in the same SMS as “pig” without a full understanding of the media’s power for disseminating hysteria. 

    All said and done, I guess it was worth the extra day of sleeping in…which I may be doing a lot more of soon… if I’m really laid off.  Not to mention getting called negligent for the first time in my life, just for being jet-lagged.

    Coming soon on an SMS near you…

    Hey assholes! Staying at home until I find a new job.  Obviously didn’t kiss enough asses.  See you all in hell.

    What do you think they’ll say to that?

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  • 28 May 2009 /  classic topo, hansosan, paolo, topotravel

    Yeah, so remember that tick-bite I got on SATURDAY?  Well, by Wednesday it looked like this (don’t worry, I kinda exaggerated about how close it was to the goodies (kinda):

    And then the doc told me I have Lyme disease.  Yeah… you can rejoice now - YAY!!!  The joys of this year are seemingly endless.

    I’ve spent plenty of time in North Africa, India, Mexico and loads of other places where you think twice about brushing your teeth with the water.  [Paolo just asked me to insert Italy into that list... not sure what that means... please come to our wedding].  Anywho, I’ve had plenty of grody diseases that have made me crap and puke and expunge… things that humans shouldn’t have to imagine expunging, and usually in embarrassing or less than comfortable places at that.  But this takes the fucking cake.  I GET A GRODY DISEASE IN FRANCE??  LESS THAN 30 km FROM PARIS???  FUCK!!!

    Besides this, Paolo has been in bed sick with the flu the last couple of days.  And the hansosan came back with more than bursitis… something about his colon and intestines exploding… I dunno, I forget what it’s called.  But, you know, nothing as bad as LYME DISEASE.   FROM A FUCKING BLOOD-SUCKING INSECT!!  DID I MENTION IT WAS A FRENCH INSECT????

    Seriously people, if you get bitten by a tick and anything feels funny… or looks like this, or like a bullseye?  You’d better get it checked out.  Because if you don’t catch it right away, lyme disease can stay pretty quiet in your system for years and years… like until it creeps into your heart and spinal cord and maybe even your brain.  Fifty bucks at the doc is better than a lifetime of TICKBITE IN YOUR FUCKING BRAIN.

    PS- (DID I MENTION I HATE TICKS???)

  • 08 Nov 2008 /  topo innards, topotravel

    I spend a lot of time disparaging myself (to myself) about almost everything I say and do,  wishing I were a more regulated and exact person- stricter about how my environment should be, how to do things properly, and where to draw the lines on socially acceptable behavior.  But this self-criticism comes to a halt when I travel.  Then, it’s easy to remember why it pays to be flexible in your behavior but pure in your basic concept of self - to be able to take your understanding of acceptable behavior and stretch and broaden it without breaking personal ethics: you see more, you learn more, you understand more.

    What does it take to make that break, to allow that internal flexibility?  How does a person learn where to draw the line between what they will and will not allow themselves to experience?  I can come up with countless examples to mull over, but Dooce comes readily to mind- somebody who lived in a strict religious community only to wake up one morning and feel that everything wrong in their life is just everything they have ever been taught- and no longer believe!  We all have those uncomfortable wake-up call moments (Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy stuff), but perhaps the stronger they are, the more difficult it becomes later to construct a solid reality around yourself.  The advantages are numerous: empathy, social flexibility, ability to help others find clarity of what they truly believe/want (because you’re always questioning, you know what questions are critical), and/or rebuild in the aftermath of self-discovery (it’s always easier to help somebody else than yourself).  The disadvantages are: a total instability of ego because you lack solid barriers and protection from outside assault, and a constant nagging tug-o-war between your tradition and your own intentions.

    These are all things I was thinking and writing about during my stay in Athens.

    If you’ve already been to Athens before the Olympics but not since, I highly suggest that you change all of your previous estimations of the city.  Personally, I don’t know what it looked like before the Olympics face lift but I do know that my experience of the city did not match the dubious descriptions I got from folks who had not been there in a while.  I thought Athens was a gloriously beautiful city.  The Metro, for one, is clean, cheap to ride (at 80 cents for a one-hour pass) and covers this broad, sprawling city to its outskirts.  Several stops had very modern-looking widescreen video that, had it been installed in another big city such as Brussels, would already be completely trashed.  The stop with the Acropolis is even conveniently marked with a huge picture of the Acropolis - in case you weren’t sure where to hop off.

    The Acropolis itself is hugely interesting, and not just something to tick off a tourism checklist.  It is totally worth the crowds that you will inevitably elbow through to see each interesting part.  Personally, I enjoyed the almost continuous stream of tour guides.  You can walk from group to group and get educated on what you’re seeing without actually paying for your own guide. If you speak multiple languages you can stroll from group to group with an extra level of stealth.  I went totally James Bond and put my headphones on as well.  What was weird- a lot of people completely missed the most interesting bits which are actually on the slopes of the Acropolis and not at the top where all the marble buildings are.

    I was surprised to have the caves of Pan, Zeus and Apollo plus the sanctuary of Aphrodite to myself.  Upon seeing the temple of the Goddess of Love I was of course inspired to make an offering… and I wasn’t the first!  I won’t tell you which gift was mine, as I already feel Her breathing down my neck for showing you pictures of Her lair…I mean home.

    Dare I say, better than the Acropolis itself was the graffiti art in the streets around it.  Athens has some of the most beautiful graffiti art I have ever seen.  What I find fascinating is the feeling of soft creativity so much of it has.  It ranges from disturbing to playful, and in some cases almost childish,


    to strange and thoughtful.

    I wonder what this says about the artists here who make the streets their canvas versus the hardened, beaten quality that a lot of American graffiti art possesses.  What are the motivators for these artists to pick up their spraypaint cans and break the law, and where does the source for what they need to express deviate between Detroit and Athens?

    Some final observations and thoughts on Athens:

    -My Indian roots are of course always on the lookout for a rip-off or a good deal.  Greeks are famous for their ability to gently (and not-so-gently) coax Euros from the pockets of visitors.  But overall I had the feeling that the “ripping off” of the tourists was being done very tongue-in-cheek.  Like naughty kids just waiting to get called out and caught.

    - The word ONLY or JUST in Greek is MONO.  I had an entire conversation in pidgin Greek, which was rather alarming both for a certain waiter and for me since I don’t actually speak any Greek.  But he very kindly pointed out the if I did not want salad (apparently, SALAD is how you say SALAD in Greek), one must indicate by saying MONO MOUSSAKA.  This all made sense once I translated to English, of course.  After that, MONO VINO came pretty easy… and though I might have been saying ONLY YO MAMA for all I know, I must have said it nicely because the wine appeared.

    - Stray cats and dogs were in abundance around the city, but they all looked lazy bordering comatose, and I didn’t see any skinny animals.  Life on the streets can’t be all that hard, living off of leftover moussaka, lamb bones and pita, then padding up to the Acropolis to sun yourself at the feet of the gods.

    -Stray sparrows, on the other hand, are vicious thieves and should be kept under constant observation if in your immediate vicinity.

    -Oh… and you might want to protect your nuts.


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