• pregnancy notes

    24 Mar 2011, 8:08 pm /  baby
    1. Pregnant chicks should not watch “The Biggest Loser”.  Watching a “fat show” gets depressing when the contestants start weighing less than you before the show is over.
    2. General public: if you would like to comment on my appearance, the appropriate thing to say is: “You look fabulous/gorgeous/beautiful”, PERIOD.
    3. I cannot say it enough: 40 WEEKS = 10 MONTHS.  9 months of pregnancy is the fuzziest man-math crap ever perpetrated on womanhood.  Spread the word, people!
    4. To the convenience store dude: Not that it’s any of your business, but a Red Bull has 80 mg of caffeine.  Pregnant chicks can have 200 mg per day if they wish to follow current medical guidelines for that sort of thing.  So YES, I intend to drink this entire can of topo-crack all by myself.
    5. To my mom: I know you had 2 babies and that I will need your help and that I don’t have any first-hand experience.  But seriously, sometimes I know what I’m talking about.
    6. It’s okay for girls to wear blue.  Truly.  As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a blue shirt right now!
    7. Pnut- when you said the babies in the hospital nursery were “aw, so tiny”, you obviously forgot from whence they came.
    8. Nope, that’s not a rotting animal you smell, it’s just a pregnancy fart.
    9. Dear mirror and scale, I think the two of you should find a temp position on “The Biggest Loser”.  You are not wanted here for at least another six months.
    10. My toilet sees more action than a two dollar hooker.

    Posted by topo @

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2 Responses

WP_Blue_Mist
  • hansosan Says:
    March 25th, 2011 at

    From this male-challenged mathematician :
    Jan 1 2011 falls in WEEK 1 - agree ?
    Oct 1 2011 falls in WEEK 40 - agree ?
    From Oct 1, the year still has 3 months to go - agree ?
    12 - 3 = ? Q.e.d.
    (pfew, glad I’m at a safe distance now…)

    Granted, some of those latter months count double, fabulous/gorgeous/beautiful ! ;)

  • topo Says:
    March 25th, 2011 at

    Hanso, I sugest you check with your wife what she thinks about this. Also, this is a matter of the lunar calendar vs. the Gregorian calendar. And lastly, yep, you’re lucky not to be in slapping range!!

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