02 Sep 2008 /
Uncategorized
The fact that I am about to post what I am about to post makes me want to throw up in my mouth.
Anyhoo.
This is the kind of stuff that makes the very pleasant deafening silence in me suddenly go:
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
Thanks, Sweet-Juniper!, for reminding me why I should stick to writing in my own meager blog instead of trolling around in everyone elses archives. Because inspiration is a dangerous game, at best.
-The ANTIMOMMY
It is seven weeks to the day that I started reading Allen Carr’s “The Easy Way to Quit Smoking”. Goddammit! And this Wednesday will make seven weeks that I have not smoked a cigarette. That is, not in real life. In my dreams I have smoked, baby! Allen Carr is all about how much you don’t miss smoking, which is what makes it easy to quit. Fact: I do not want to smoke again. Fact: I know that if I have one cigarette, I will have twenty per day, therefore I cannot touch the one cigarette. Fact: Allen Carr is a big fat fucking liar and I WANT A FUCKING CIGARETTE ANYWAY!
I really needed to get that off my chest.
If I could upload some music here, you’d get something veeeery nostalgic.
So…
TEN (REAL) REASONS QUITTING SMOKING IS FUCKING AWESOME
- I have about double or more the energy I had before. No shit. I wake up in the morning and I wonder what I’ll do with all the energy. This blog, for example, is a direct result of that energy. Not to mention a very scary new found want to learn how to sew. I’ve been weighing sewing machine options- Singer vs. Toyota. Okay, maybe even too much energy.
- I’ve already saved 5 Euros per day, minimum, for around €245 total. That’s a new Ipod. Or five tanks of gas (around 5,000 km). Or a couple of round-trip tickets almost anywhere in Europe.
- My dog doesn’t smell like smoke. She still smells like dog, … but not like smoke. I always felt guilty having a smokey dog.
- Next time I climb a long route, that’s a few less grams to carry. Next time I do anything, actually.
- I won’t feel like as big of a jerk around the Indian half of the family. I’ll still feel like the tattooed unmarried 30+ year old. But at least I won’t have to get stuck on the terrace with all the uncles and embarrass the aunties with my total disregard for ladylike behavior. Okay, actually I’m pretty sure that will all still happen. But at least I won’t be SMOKING when it happens. That should count for some points.
- When I go to a restaurant, I can sit any fucking where I want!
- Now when people are all “it’s because you’re a smoker, when you quit you’ll be able to taste so much more, smell so much more, blah blah!”, I can be all “no, I just naturally like shitty wine and buttloads of salt in my food, thank you very much, fuck off”.
- No worry anymore about all the nasty ashtrays and butts and stinky crap laying around my house when I have people over.
- No running out of the party to shiver and miss all the good stuff.
- Uh… not worrying about a long slow lung cancer death. Duh.
Off to save myself from toe cancer next!
ps. I actually do recommend the Allen Carr book. Just for the impetus! I quit, and I’ve smoked my entire adult life. It’s worth a shot.
