If I ignore SAP blink-blinking at me mockingly with its incomprehensible Germanic matrices for a few minutes and squint beyond my computer screen, towards the light, and the window I can see… wait for it… another totally bland factory-come-office building.
Today I squinted out of my peephole and saw a group of people in fireman outfits with hoses a-blaring at the Other office building. And for one glorious moment I thought that perhaps the whole fucking lot of them would burn down. I know, I know, fires are not funny or nice. But still, the song echoed in my ears… “we don’t need no water let the… burn… BURN … BURN“, progressively louder and louder, until I got so excited I almost whipped out the secret stash of single malt Scotch from my desk drawer and reminded myself to take a sip before spreading a trail between the buildings! Then I realized what I was actually looking at. It was one of those damned over-the-top office safety trainings, and the only thing to see under the sexy fireman costumes would be annoying business sharks in suits and tassled leather shoes. And I wrote one of the saddest haikus of my life:
| Saw the firemen, | |
| thought my office would be ash: | |
| good whiskey wasted. | |
In my opinion, Office Fireman trainings are pretty useless since if there were actually a fire, I’m almost certain those guys would be snogging mighty swigs from my Scotch, throwing their tassles into the flames and singing the BURN song too. Like if all the animal lab cages were suddenly flung open on Jurassic Park and it was FREE MEAT day.
But whatever. At least the admins will now enjoy numerous guilt-free hours of worktime photoshopping pictures of their bosses trying pathetically hard to wrangle a hose instead of a blackberry.
ps- We’re off to the Dolomites for a few days! Yioupieee! I’m taking the hansosan and his youngest up their first multi-pitch routes, so if I don’t come back in one piece you all know who to sue… I mean blame… I mean commisserate with!
