topotales

You know those people in life that it’s critical to impress, but around whom you seem to continually flounder and make an ass of yourself?  Yeah well, for me, my new boss is one of those people.

…………

12:16:00 - Lunchtime!  So, I’m all alone in my office, happily chatting with a friend via gmail.

12:16:00.05 - Let out a very small, but SURPRISINGLY POTENT ass-bomb.

12:16:01 - I’ve got the new boss in my cubicle, leaning all across my desk, stirring up potentially atomic airwaves between us, talking to me about … ? …

12:16:02 - I still can’t hear what she’s saying because all I can think about is how disgusting is that damned mutant ninja fart and will it ever stop whirling around my cubicle with throwing stars and does it or does it not help dissipate the stinkiness if I roll my chair back a couple inches, or should I just sit completely still, play possom and pretend nothing is happening?

12:16:03 - Know that Very Important Work Things are being discussed but continue to only see her lips moving.

12:16:04 - Notice I still have gmail chat open on my desktop and that it’s possible she could see it and think I’m a slacker when in fact (when I’m not blogging) I work my ass off, but am still too petrified of scent-wafting to move.

12:16:05 - The new boss disappears from my cubicle, trailing a stream of toxic stinkdust behind.

12:16:06 - Realize that I am going to spend the rest of the afternoon replaying those five seconds over and over and over.  Sigh and take a deep breath.

12:16:07 - Realize it’s definitely still too early to be taking deep breaths around here.